Stress'll Do That To Ya

So we finally moved into our new apartment on Monday. Hooray! Les has been working diligently during the day on the sea of boxes, and I stay up late every night after work to keep unpacking and unpacking and unpacking and....

Whoa. I thought we had a lot of stuff when we PACKED. Unpacking has made this overabundance of stuff even more painfully painful.

And you know how I've been handling this 2 moves in 3 months + new job + new city + health issues + missing my friends?

I've been eating like crap, biting my nails, going to Target twice a week and coming home with MORE STUFF (seriously, What?), and reverting seamlessly back into soda drinking, paper-towel-using, disposable junk buying freakishness.

It's like all of my filters are cluttered with crud, and I can't quite think straight. I contemplate whether or not to run to Starbucks for a latte, even though I've already been twice this week and I don't really need any coffee. And I don't have a lot of extra cash to be throwing around. And I say to myself "yes. I need a latte" and I go. IN MY CAR! Because you have to drive everywhere here.

The only thing keeping me from teetering on the verge of a self-loathing melt down is to remember that I'm legitimately stressed out. And that self-soothing strategies kick in when we're wigging.

I remind myself that I have grand Green plans for this new place. That Les and I have already discussed action steps to use as little water as possible (you have to pay for water here! and it's expensive!), plant an organic garden, and purge purge purge anything that does not pass the "Useful/Lovely" test (see below).

There was one big box looming on the floor last night, and neither of us could remember what was inside. It was marked "HEAVY/FRAGILE". I finally grabbed the scissors and tore into it, scooping out the packing shreds and wrapping and taped protections. Several pieces didn't need to be unwrapped, because they were in bits at the bottom of the box. Completely destroyed. Two of those smashed things were actually quite dear to me. One was a very delicate antique china tea cup with tiny roses sprinkled around it's thin body. It had been in my mom's cabinet, all alone and without a set or saucer. I loved it. It had been wrapped fastidiously, but set too close to bigger, heavier things. It was smashed to smithereens, mom would say. The other obliterated item that nearly brought me to tears has also been very carefully wrapped and set inside a box and wrapped and set inside another box. I don't understand how this one smashed, but there it was, in splinters in its container. My brother in law had made me this ridiculously awesome octopus sculpture that he somehow fashioned with its tentacles wrapped realistically around a spherical glass candle holder. Honestly, it was one of the coolest things anyone has ever given me. And I loved it. It was going to be the centerpiece of our new bathroom's decor. And all that is left of it now is a pile of broken octopus arms and shards of glass.

Several candle glasses, jars, and flower pots were also reduced to rubble in the move. I had to keep reminding myself that it is just stuff. Just stuff. It is not my treasure, or my comfort.

But that mantra combined with my already anxious state made me inclined to roll our garbage dumpster up to the back door and just start throwing EVERYTHING out. To hold each and every item as it came out of the box and give it this test:

1. Is it beautiful?
2. Is it useful?
3. Would I miss it within 1 year?

I might actually do this. Room by room. I'll let you know. We have a boat-load of stuff that I do not think could possibly pass. My heart twisted up in sadness when I saw those things had been ruined. But honestly, I didn't lose any sleep. I bet dozens of other things (hundreds?) could meet the same fate without any lasting impact on my life. There are only a few things that I would truly grieve. Maybe that will be my next post. I'll make my "What would you grab if your house was on fire" list. Could help force this purge plan into focus, yes?

Why didn't we do this purge before we spent almost $3K to move a big truck full of stuff across the country?

Lessons learned.