Tidings of Comfort and Joy

I'm listening to Pandora's "Classical Christmas" station and making an unusual Christmas gift list this morning - a list of gifts I will not actually buy, since the people I'm scheming for are in heaven and presumably not even Amazon delivery droids can reach them.

Every year since my dad died in 2001, and now for both my mom and my dad, I've indulged in a glimmer of bittersweet fantasy by making an imaginary Christmas gift list for them. My "What I Wish I Could Give my Mom and Dad This Year" list. This year, since I've pushed myself out of my grief comfort zone by putting up a Christmas tree for the first time since Mom died, I decided to step it up a notch and make a blog list. With pictures! Because hey, maybe someone out there still needs some gift ideas! But mostly, because I don't remember any of the things I imagined giving to them any of those years, and I want to remember. Remembering is all we have.

And while I may be blinking at the computer through water-welled eye lids, this little exercise actually does bring me both Comfort and Joy.

Here are some things I would get my mom this year:

1. A beautiful rich purple Kantha blanket from the awesome Hand and Cloth organization.
Mom loves purple, hand-made anything, and I'm sure she would be all about helping women artisans.

Hand and Cloth blankets are hand stitched in Bangladesh by women who are vulnerable to exploitation. By providing them dignified work, Hand and Cloth offers opportunities for them to earn a living and provide for their children. From the Hand and Cloth website: "As each textile is handmade for Hand & Cloth by a woman, our prayer is that each woman would come to know that she too is handmade by God. "

Perfect. Gift.

2. The Josh Groban CD that came out this year. You can't help who you love, and mom LOVED Josh.



3. The "Against All Grain" Cookbook. I have a feeling it would stress her out to try to cook and bake for me now that I have all these stupid food issues. I'd accessorize it with a stash of the most-used alternative flours (Coconut, Almond, Tapioca, etc). Maybe I'd even do it up cutely like in "Stranger than Fiction"... "I brought you flours."



4. A picture of our little family.

I'll even be nice and give her one where Les and I are actually in focus, and not just the blurry background to an Auggie portrait.

And here are some things I'd get my dad.

Dad is a little harder to shop for. He would insist that he doesn't need anything. Ever. Well, too bad for him. 

1. Bear: Spirit of the Wild 

One of those admittedly rare instances where Instagram was a practical help. I follow National Geographic on IG (If you don't - drop everything and do it now. Incredible photos and stories). Anyway, the moment I saw pictures and posts about this book, I thought "Dad would LOVE that!".

2. Between Heaven and Mirth - Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter Are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life. 

I read Fr. James Martin, SJ's book "The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything" and I was smitten. He's funny, warm, and Jesus-filled. He's also the "Official Chaplain of the Colbert Nation". I dearly dearly wish I could watch the Colbert Report with my dad. I can almost hear his snort-laugh-cough just thinking about it. Dad loved a good laugh, and despite years of poor health, his irreverent sense of humor rarely wavered. 

* Note: Since this is an imaginary list, I'm going to make it up as though dad's eyes are still strong enough to read a book. Otherwise, yes, I'd be getting this one as an audio book.

3. A recording of my mom singing Christmas hymns.

I wish wish WISH I had this in real life. It would be my most prized possession. But since this is a pretend list, I'll pretend that I have it and I'd make a copy for dad. I remember always looking at his face as mom sang a solo in church - O Holy Night, or a section of The Messiah. The look of pure adoring love and pride is stitched delicately onto my heart. 

4. A donation to World Vision's Clean Water Fund

Hey! I can actually DO this one. I'm on it. 

So that's my imaginary Christmas list. I feel something akin to relief and bliss having typed it up to share. To be honest, I'm always wobbling on that line between "Don't hide your grief all the time" and "Don't be a Debbie Downer". But somehow when the holidays roll around, it feels like there is this little social worm hole that opens up and there are articles and blog posts and facebook statuses that let the cat out of the bag: People are hurting, and grieving, and muddling their way through loss all the time, and at the holidays, sometimes that pain draws sharper and more intense. And let's just come out and say it. Joy and pain mingle bittersweetly. 

But here's the kicker. At Christmas, we remember that God Came Near. And he came to bind up the brokenhearted. And to wipe every tear from their eyes. Sometimes, He sends His people out to do the binding and the wiping, even while we're still feeling a bit broken down ourselves. I'm not actually going to be able to give my parents these presents, but their example of loving their neighbors inspires me to get off my butt and GIVE and LOVE, even when it feels awkward or over-the-top. 

Concocting some Over the Top surprises would have been right up mom and dad's alley. 

Coconut Oil + Coconut Sugar Body Scrub

Is anyone else's skin looking rather gray and chalky? Do you get the urge to take sandpaper to your feet and dip your entire leg into a lotion bottle this time of year? Just me?

Last week I continued my tireless search for a chemical-free golden ticket that would keep my skin soft during these moisture sucking winter months.

I thought I was onto something last year with the coconut oil-as- moisturizer. It worked pretty well and was economical and chemical-free. A few of you mentioned that you tried it and you kind of liked it, in a "Well, I guess it's better than rubbing petroleum products into my skin" sort of way. I confess that I, too, grew weary of the coconut oil's oiliness. There is a reason why commercial skin care products tout their "absorbs quickly with no greasy feel!" magic. Coconut oil works pretty well, and the lotion bars were handy and fun to make, but I haven't been able to shake the thought that we can do better.

On a whim, I bought some Coconut Sugar from Trader Joe's a couple of weeks ago. Most interweb sources assert that it is one of the most environmentally sustainable sweeteners around (Kitchen Stewardship has some great info about it), and I thought I'd add it to my grain-free baking experimentation. It is fairly coarse but not as clumpy as regular brown sugar.

All the DIY Christmas gift pins with homemade bath products inspired me to try the Coconut Sugar with water or honey as a scrub for my crusty feet. And then it hit me: Coconut oil + Coconut sugar = Natural Moisturizing Body Scrub?

Friends, let me tell you, I've been using this concoction every few days for two weeks now, and I am really amazed by how well it works, how un-greasy it is, and how my skin actually feels soft for days. Days!

Les even commented that my skin is "much nicer than usual" all of a sudden.

Our two star ingredients.

It's ridiculously easy to make this scrub. 

1. Scoop a heaping spoonful of coconut oil into a small dish. Coconut oil is solid at room temperature, so you can get a nice hefty glop of it with a regular spoon. 

 2. Dump a roughly equal amount of coconut sugar into the oil and mash it around with the spoon.

Here's the best part:

3. Take your dish of coconutty body scrub into the shower with you, and give your limbs a good scrubbing with it after you've finished your regular washing and hair doing and ballad singing. Yep, slather this stuff right in the shower just as if it were a body wash. I use my hands, but you could put it onto a washcloth or poof if you prefer. You're wet, and you're sloughing off dead skin as you go so it absorbs in a totally different way. Plus you're rinsing off any excess oil as you finish up your shower.

4. Get out of the shower, dry off, and get on with your day with your soft and lovely skin.

I find that my skin only needs this extra step every few days, but if you want to do it everyday, go for it.

One word of caution - your feet will be really slippery if you use this scrub on the bottoms of your feet, so be careful in the shower! You could also just use this as a treat for your feet after your shower if you don't want to risk a slip.

Let's review the awesomeness of this scrub.

1. All natural ingredients = No nasty chemicals being rubbed into your skin.
2. Slather it on right in the shower. No need to stand shivvering in your cold wintery bathroom rubbing lotion or coconut oil into your skin until it absorbs. 
3. Smell like sweet coconut! Your chihuahua may decide he wants to lick your legs and hands, but that's not a problem, right? 
4. Soft skin that lasts for days. 

Bonus:  Edible shower scrub! No commentary. Just pointing that out...

In Defense of Insufferable Thankfulness

I've looked forward to November for a while now, and it's not because I've given up shaving for a month. For the last couple of years, I've jumped on the 30 Days of Thanks bandwagon - posting on Facebook one thing for which I am thankful every day of the month. I love posting the happy little nuggets, and I've gotten the Warm Fuzzies from reading other peoples' posts. This year, I had planned to take to Instagram to celebrate 30 Days of Thanks and post a picture of the Thankful each day. Mental lists were made. Photo ideas were practiced. I was ready to Thank it up.

And then even before I had posted my first Thanks, the Haters started squawking on Facebook. You know - the "I'm thankful that all my friends who post the obnoxious Thankful posts will get sick of it by Day 5" and the like. It smarted a bit. I tried to brush it off. I posted a second day. The Anti-30 Days of Thanks posts kept coming. There were more Anti posts than Thanks posts this year. The enthusiasm drained from my heart, and I vowed not to be "one of those" obnoxious Thankers this year.

Today as I looked forward to having dinner with two of my dear friends who have laughed and loved with me for over 15 years, my heart welled up with thankfulness. I would have gotten just as mushy about these friends if it had been January, but today I wanted to Shout it From the Facebook Rooftops.

These girls. So Thankful. 

But I didn't. Because I didn't want to be an obnoxious thanker.

And then, I looked at AugDog (who would have gotten the Thankfulness Shout Out on Day 8, had I not wimped out) and said "Why should I hide my Thanks? Geez, Aug, there's so much to be thankful for! Why not just celebrate our blessings for a whole month?"

If I can share internet stories about chameleons trained to ride tiny bicycles, political commentary, vegetarian recipes, and photos of things like piles of leaves, why can't I enjoy a month of Thankfulness?

And before anyone counters with "Why not be thankful all year, when you really feel moved to celebrate, instead of inundating us with "I'm so thankful for Peppermint Mochas!!!!" and equally quotidian drivel?", I'll say:

Because it is November.

And in November, it starts getting dark at 4:30, and it's cold, and the holidays are coming up quickly. And the holidays are not Blissful Months of  Glitter and Angels for everyone. And because sometimes counting our blessings is the best way to ward off the sneaky onset the winter doldrums. And because, blast it all, I have so so so much to be thankful for.

And I need reminders to Give Thanks in all circumstances; for the daily doses of common grace and the people and animals who bring joy to my life every day, for the food and coffee and shelter and plenty. Practicing gratitude all year, and especially, maybe, at this time of year, can help retrain my heart to remember to Give Thanks in the face of illness and fear and stress and want and pain, and when I'm scraping the ice from my windshield for the 400th time.

Give thanks to the Lord for he is good. His love endures forever. 

I'd list the Bible reference for that verse, but it appears a dozen or so times in the Psalms alone. Maybe it's pretty important?

Haters Gonna Hate. 

Giving Up the Fight: Unruly Hair Edition

There are so many things I could write about these days. The unpacking, the "We really dragged these things across the country?" disbelief, the home updates that could have been eco-friendly but were not. The struggle to resist the temptation to run out and buy a zillion new things to deck out the house.

Those posts may come. But for now, let's tackle the ridiculous First World Problem of hating one's hair.

One of the unpleasant side effects of rocking gray hair is that gray hair is coarse and wiry. It is not shiny, it does not sparkle or gleam like the Pantene commercials, no matter what you slather into it. It squiggles in all directions from your scalp like a mess of lazy corkscrews. I have the added bonus of having hair that cannot collectively make up its mind about whether it is straight or a wavy mess.

I have been beating my hair into straight submission with an arsenal that includes a hair dryer, round brush, straightening iron, and all-natural hair balms. All that heat just antagonizes the angry mob, and I end up with crispy split ends and haircuts that never lay quite right. Ever.

So yesterday I decided to lay down my arsenal and surrender. I went to a new salon here in our neighborhood for the first time and told the stylist that I wanted a cut that would work FOR, rather than against my indecisive hair. Give me a Wavy Straight Asymmetrical Bob and Wispy Long Front Strands. With Bangs.

I got this:

I hate selfies. I really do

Friends, I think I will fight no more forever.

Moral of the story: Choose your battles. Or let your body do its thing. Or experience the joy of meeting a new stylist and seeing the look on her face when you encourage her to "Keep cutting! It will grow back. I'm not worried about it." and "Randomer is better! I don't care about even!" OK, maybe there is no moral.

Holy Crap! We have a lot of crap.

There's nothing like a move to drag your guise of simplification into the harsh light of day.

After nearly 2 years in Raleigh, Les and I moved back to Illinois last week. It was a bittersweet departure. We made so many incredible friends, and we fell in love with Raleigh in just 18 months. We will miss the Southland and all of our friends (especially in the winter), but we're excited for Les to start his new job as a full time professor.

We were sad to leave, but do you know what really sucks about moving? MOVING.

MOVING SUCKS.

Packing up all of our earthly belongings really made me stressed out about the number of our possessions and the lengths we are willing to go to move them from place to place.

Not only did we pay to acquire them in the first place, but we then have to pay to transport them from home to home. And let me tell you, moving ain't cheap! We very seriously discussed the idea of chucking almost everything (via donation), saving the couple of thousand dollars in moving expenses, and starting over with a clean slate and a commitment to only allow truly useful and beautiful things into our new home.

But we didn't do that. It seemed wasteful/impractical and ultimately pretty expensive. Won't we need socks and bottle openers and bowls in our new home? Didn't people we love just buy us most of the contents of this kitchen for our wedding? Didn't we carefully select this stuff when we bought it? (Most of it, anyway?)

So we didn't go with the Chuck it and Start Fresh plan, but I was still determined to pare down my stuff. I signed up for the Becoming Minimalist blog and started pinning tips on de-cluttering and purging. And to really seal the deal, I convinced Les that we would only take as much as could fit into 2 U-Boxes and our car trunks. That's actually not a lot of space for a 2 bedroom apartment that is insulated primarily by hardcover philosophy tomes.

We did manage to donate or discard a lot of things. I completed a massive Dresser Drawer Purge that was incredibly gratifying. Look at how easily these drawers close now! Look how neatly the remaining t-shirts are stacked!

Stuff I Did Not Move

So I got rid of an embarrassing mound of stretched out coffee-stained t-shirts. A good start, but more like a ding than a substantial dent in the Crap.

As the packing extravaganza finally wore down, we started cramming things randomly into boxes. Les and I started saying things like "If it makes it to Illinois in one piece, then great, and if not, then who cares...". If we don't care whether that particular photo frame or pie plate survives, then why oh why do we own it? And why are we moving it? We're strange, stuff-owning creatures, though. I do hope that those things all survive their long journey back to us. But ultimately they are just things, and I will (try) not (to) cry over their untimely demise if the time comes.

Now that we're here and our U-boxes are on the way, I do wish we had purged some more. I'm thinking I will keep thinning and thinning my clothing stash as we set up home in a new place with limited storage. My plan is to immediately dismiss anything we do not actually need or use or love in our new home. Give each item some sort of probation status for each season and then coldly kick it to the curb if it is not pulling its Beauty or Usefulness weight. If we had had time to do that before we packed two moving crates Tetris-style, that would have been even better. Now, we get to deal with the unpacking and post-move purging on the Illinois side.

But I do love a challenge! New home, new space, new opportunities for conscientious consumption and thoughtful simplificiation.

Oh, and since I am currently unemployed, more blogging. And hopefully a photography class to improve everyone's blog-reading experience.

Detox Day 5: Why It's So Hard to Eat Clean

Day 5 with no sugar, caffeine, grains, alcohol, animal products, or processed food*

It hasn't really been as hard as I thought it would be, once I got over the hump**

I actually do feel awesome***


* Truth: I did break down and buy some packaged all-natural guacamole and some natural sweet potato chips. And I used some pre-cooked lentils in a package from Trader Joe's. Sure, I could have made those things, but...

** ...it is really really REALLY HARD to cook every single thing you eat. To chop, prepare, cook, and clean up for everything that you consume. The restrictions haven't been as hard for me as the cooking has been. I needed some crunch. It turns out that pretty much everything in the menu plan for the first week is roughly the texture of baby food, especially in the leftovers format that I thought would help me out by preparing big batches and saving it for a future lunch or dinner. All that tasty-but-mushy food put me over the edge. I bought the sweet potato chips, and the guac to go with them. No regrets.

***I really do feel awesome, overall, if you don't count the fact that I am hungry all day, and my stomach growls a bit at night. This is primarily due to the fact that I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE ANY MORE THINGS TO EAT. Being a little hungry is good for me. It's a pretty rare occurrence. I feel a little hungry, and a whole lot of Better. Better sleep, better skin, better joints. I feel lighter and less tense than I have in a very long time. I've slept soundly the last 2 nights in a row, which is pretty rare for me. I think I've also been more productive at work. An unexpected side benefit.

Aside from the cooking, cleaning, and mild pangs of hunger, the only real downside I can see to eating this way long term is that it is an awkward pain in the neck if you ever like to eat with people other than yourself. I've been invited out to eat or drink a couple of times this week, and both times I've had to meander around this pretentious-sounding "I'm doing a detox" crap. And today I'm taking my office team out for fancy cupcakes to celebrate our fantastic intern's last day, and I'll be sipping a lemon water while the ladies relish their pillowy clouds of chocolate and magic. So that sucks.

The randomest lunch ever, while my co-workers enjoy a free buffet at an event.

Once this whole detox deal has wrapped, my task is to find a way to have more balance and more discipline (and more cupcakes) within a (mostly) clean shopping list. Health is crucial, but food can be a communal, celebratory key to a joyful life. Especially when there is room for the occasional latte or frosting-topped confection.

Let Food Be Thy Medicine...

...and medicine be thy food.

Ever since my Big Wakeup Call last winter, I have become much more aware of how the food I eat impacts everything about my health and body. Not just obvious stuff like weight and digestion. I mean everything -  sleep, skin, hair, energy, flexibility, mood, and even my habits and emotional health (do you hear me, Stress Eating? We are donezo.).

So when I sat at my desk last week guiltily wolfing down TWO slices of cold pizza and a cookie, I knew that I would regret it. Over the long haul I'd regret not being able to fit into my pants if I ate like that every day, but in the short term, I knew that all that gluten and sugar and dairy and processed non-food would result in pimples, puffiness, discomfort, creaking joints, and jittery, restless sleep. And later that night when I examined the newly materialized breakout on my chin, I decided that it was time.

Time for The Detox.

When my food sensitivities were first diagnosed, I went on a strict two week elimination diet. It was tough, but I did it, and I felt better than I had in years. I'm taking a different approach this time.

This time, I'm turning to the Very Last Issue of Whole Living Magazine ever to be published* for a 3 week whole foods detoxifying meal plan. The idea is to focus on healing, whole, anti-inflammatory foods to recalibrate your system. No caffeine, alcohol, dairy, grains, meat, or processed food of any kind the first week, and gradually loosening up in weeks 2 and 3.

Week One - Purify.
I'm on my second day of Week One. It's the strictest of the 3 weeks of Detox, so I can really only have fruits, vegetables, and seeds. Ideally, you don't even want to eat nuts or soy, because they can be difficult to digest, but I've had almond butter every day and a splash of soy milk in my caffeine-free herbal tea.

Breakfast for the week:

Berries, banana, flax seed smoothie

Apple with almond butter

Not a terribly filling breakfast, but a lot more fruit than I usually consume before noon. The almond butter helps me feel full-ish. The menu plan gave lots of other fruit-based breakfast options, but this is the one that works best for me and my squishy-fruit aversion.

Lunch/Dinner

I had yesterday off, so I cooked up two of the recipes to eat for the first couple of days' worth of lunches and dinners.

The makings of a surprisingly tasty lunch.

I had seen recipes for "cauliflower fried "rice"" on Pinterest, but was veeerrrrry skeptical. Cooked cauliflower is near the bottom of my preferred veggie list. Raw cauliflower = crunchy treat. Cooked cauliflower = mushy, stinky small brains.

But here's the deal. Since it is a grain-free week, you can't add rice to your stir fry. They cleverly have you pulse cauliflower in a food processor to make it LOOK like rice. And, honestly, once it was cooked up I really couldn't tell it was cauliflower. Genius.

Cauliflower 'rice'

Cooked up the veggies and cauliflower in coconut oil, red pepper, and some spices for an asian-y tint to the flavor. It was pretty AND tasty.

The next recipe I tried was almost scrapped from my list. Marinated Portobello Mushrooms and Kale. Marinade? Love it. Thick, meaty mushrooms? Love. Kale? Ugh. Why did it have to be Kale? I know it is a wonder food full of all kinds of nutrients and stuff. I just hate it. HATE it. But, for the sake of discipline, I went for it.

Not the best picture. Must only cook/photograph food in the day time for natural light!

And thanks to timing error on my part, the kale got actually a bit crispy-fried and crunchy! Hooray! Accidental kale chips over a very tasty bed of sliced 'shrooms. A stunned Thumbs Up for this recipe too.

When I got to work this morning, I warned my team that I am going to be hungry, uncaffeinated, and probably cranky until I get over the hump. So far, though, I feel pretty good. It helps a LOT to have recipes and a plan, rather than just a list of things you're not going to eat. I can almost hear my joints rejoicing. It really isn't any fun to go through life chronically inflamed.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. not having chronic pain/stiffness/zits/digestive problems/poor sleep.

Now if I can just convince myself of that after the end of the 3rd week!

*Can we just pause to shed a tearful goodbye to my all time favorite magazine? My insider friend, Jeana, told me that Ms. Martha Stewart had decided that her brand lacked focus, so they dropped Whole Living and Everyday Food. SO. Sad.

Cup of Happiness

Our coffee machine broke down a few months ago. Coincidentally, my Starbucks habit kicked back in right around the same time. I am loathe to admit it, but I am addicted to caffeine. Like, for reals. I tried to give it up for Lent this year and made it exactly 4 days before my headaches and general Rage Against Humanity weakened my resolve and I went back to the dark side.

I immediately felt that I had a Green Living problem to tackle. What's the best way to get my fix with minimal waste and maximum awesomeness?

Factors to consider:

• I don't want ANY waste - No filters, no pods, no pouring half your French Press pot down the drain because I can only really handle one cup at a time and the mechanics of the Press make me create at least 2 big cups worth.
• When it comes right down to it, I really want a LATTE. Not coffee. Yes, I know, I'm a snob. Whatever. When I have good, excellent-tasting espresso and steamed milk, I don't even want any sugar OR honey. At least half of the reason I go to The Bucks is because I want the steamed milk. Lovely, frothy milk.

So I didn't want to buy a new coffee maker. Coffee makers don't make lattes, and latte makers cost $$$. I did a bit of internet searching, and decided on these two little old-fangled lovelies:

To my left, a stainless steel milk frother. To my right, the iconic Bialetti Moka Pot in the one-cup size. Just enough for ONE latte in the morning! 

Yes, they are not as fast or as fancy as the Pod coffee machines or the spendy espresso machines. And yes, the Bialetti would be a more energy-efficient choice if we had gas burners, but someday I WILL have gas burners, so help me!

How do these thrifty little metal contraptions produce a foamy latte? Observe.

This round fan-looking thing is what aerates the milk. It's attached by a metal rod to the knob on the lid of the frother When you pump it, it turns this little splash of warmed-up soy milk (see left) into this voluminous cup of foamy soy milk (see right). About as close to steamed milk as you can get without a fancy espresso maker OR a lot of attention and patience at the stove top.

And what about the espresso part?

Espresso goes into this funnel-shaped filter.

Which fits into the bottom part....

that holds the water.

When you twist the two halves of the Moka pot together and put the pot on the stove, you can lift up the lid and watch the espresso percolate up into the little pitcher.

Bubbling goodness.

Now imagine this is a TV cooking show and I skip to the finished product:

Perfecto. One latte, no waste. I can use organic, fair trade beans and whatever pretentious milk I want. And if I ever get my act together, I could even put everything together at night and just turn on the heat in the morning.

So there you have it! The solution to my latte addiction for about $40 of durable equipment. No waste, and far fewer trips to The Bucks. Come on over and I'll play barista for ya.

Breakfast Plantain & Veggie Scramble

Back in the day when I happily noshed bagels or English muffins, I loved to make breakfast sandwiches and things that resembled Benedicts. I still love a good eggy/cheesy brunch, but I've had to retool my starch a bit.

There are recipes out there for grain free muffins, breads, bagel-like things, cookies, crackers, and pizza crusts readily available, but I've come to the conclusion that trying to make grain-free versions of my favorite carbs turns out to be akin to the veggified versions of meat products - expensive, time consuming, and not very much like the item you are trying to fake. I ended up preferring lentils and beans to Chik'n Nuggets or ToFurky, and I've discovered that bread cravings can almost always be quelled without Fava bean and flax meal "sandwich flats".

Here's my #1 tip for anyone trying to cut down on conventional grain-based foods: Rethink your base.

This morning I woke up craving Eggs Benedict. What did I really want? Bread, Eggs, and something saucy. No bread, no interest in making hollandaise. But it is my day off, so I had a bit more time to tool around in the kitchen, so I rummaged around and got started with a new breakfast melange.

Let's start with the new base:

Satisfying little discs of starchy goodness: Plantains

I'm sure there must be some way to roast plantains, but honestly, if you fry things hot enough and blot them quickly enough, flash frying is not a terrible way to cook things. I did these up in some grapeseed oil, because it can handle high heat and quick cooking.

Plantains do not taste anything like the bananas they resemble. They remind me more of sweet potatoes than of fruit. And they are an excellent bready substitute.

After the plantains were cooked up, I started dumping random bits of veggies from the fridge into the same quick-cleaned saute pan:

leftovers from a can of fire roasted tomatoes

some unused black beans 

handful of baby spinach

the rest of a can of black olives from an ill-fated recipe earlier this week

And then I tried to fry up an egg quickly, but the pan was so hot it ended up overcooked. No matter. I stacked up my odds and bits onto a plate and scraped some disappointingly not-quite-ripe avocado on top.

There you have it!

And it was really, really good. Filling and carbish and proteiny. You could put cheese on top, but I'm trying to go easy on the dairy these days too and this is plenty rich. Sprinkle a little salt and pepper and you are done. All the breakfast, none of the grains.

Grain-Free birthday cookies

Several people asked me if I was going to eat Birthday Cake on Friday. I thought about it, but really, I'm more of an ice cream girl so I decided not to hurl myself off the gluten-free wagon in the name of tradition or birthday candles.

But I did want something sweet to share around the office, so I turned to my trusty G-Free board on Pinterest for an idea.

I decided to go with Coconut Lemon Meltaways from the Addicted to Veggies blog. I had all the ingredients on hand and I LOVE coconut and lemon. And who doesn't want to try something called a "meltaway"?

These cookies could be labeled and hashtagged with all kinds of non-delicious sounding things like #vegan, #grainfree, #raw, #refinedsugarfree.

But let me tell you, the more descriptive options would be #tasteslikesummer, #whoababythosearegood, and #notexactlyhealthybutslightlymorevirtuousthanaboxofthinmints.

Did I mention that they are embarrassingly easy to make?

Please check out the original post on Addicted to Veggies for the recipe and steps - I don't want to take any credit for her brilliance.

But it basically goes like this:
Mix the dry ingredients (I used Almond Meal rather than Almond Flour because it is cheaper and I had some  on hand. It does change the texture slightly, but probably not the taste).

Bust out your Stand Mixer (hooray!) or any hand mixer and blend the wet ingredients into the dry.

Roll the cookies into balls and set them out on a parchment lined sheet. These little babies are not going to be cooked, so they won't spread or rise. You can put them pretty close together.

The cookies are technically raw (not cooked). Don't worry though, they're also vegan so no angst about eating raw eggs or dairy. Bonus: you can eat as much "dough" as you want!

The original recipe says that you can leave them in a warm oven with the door cracked slightly (I had mine set at 180 for about an hour and a half) or stick em in a food dehydrator. I don't have one of those - yet - so I went with the warm oven option. All this really does is dry out the exterior slightly, which gives the cookies that divine "melt in your mouth" slight crunch on the outside, soft awesomeness on the inside.

My co-workers gobbled these up. I may have had 4 or so myself. The only people who didn't oooh and aaaahh were the handful of non-coconut eaters. I contend that the lemon has a stronger flavor than the coconut, but I guess there's no convincing you if you are anti-coconut.

Bonus #2 - These make your kitchen smell like lemon and coconut. Excellent reason to make them in February.

The Big 3-5: Another year older and a New Year of GGG

Happy Birthday to Me! And Happy Anniversary to the Green, Gray and Grace blog!

Year 2 of the Green Gray and Grace initiative wraps up today, and Year 3 begins. This year has been full of transitions and do-overs and inches and inches of movement towards a greener and more graceful life. The Gray always pretty much takes care of itself. The Green and the Grace and I are duking it out every day, year after year. It's a long but oh so good battle.

I've been feeling a bit sheepish that I don't have so much to "show" for this year. It has been tough to find as much time to write and to try projects and to cook as I would like, and I haven't earned any Gold Stars for discipline and self control. But even if everything didn't exactly go as planned, I have definitely learned a lot. Learned a lot, still a lot of room to grow.

Since last February, I:

• Tried to grow a container garden. Getting started. Getting excited. Crushed by Reality.
• Started to embrace the fact that my quality of life is significantly better when I keep a grain-free diet. 
• Attempted to massively overhaul my eating habits to focus on simplicity and abundance. And failed miserably. 
• Adopted some *slightly* crunchy, but satisfyingly simple Green personal care habits. 
• Wrote the "Why I do not eat meat" post that had been making me unreasonably anxious. 
• Thought I would hate but learned to LOVE keeping a Sabbath on (most) Sundays. 
• Wrote this post about grieving that turned out to be the most viewed and most shared thing I've ever written. 

And I got a fun new bob haircut to show off my gray:

I'm ashamed of how many camera phone self portraits I took to get ONE that I didn't totally hate.

Ok, so what's next?

I'm not entirely sure. I'm hopeful that I'll have more time to do the things that I love this year than I had last year, so hopefully more cooking, crafting, making, writing. And HOPEFULLY I'll actually take a photography class so that my blog photos can actually resemble something artful rather than embarrassing snapshots in our poorly-lit kitchen.

God and I will keep wrestling with the ways in which my desires to live more simply and graciously and abundantly only get as far as my head. 

My hair will just keep getting more awesome. 

All-Natural Lotion Bars

Sometimes I fret that my skin is noticeably drier these days than it was when I was younger. I know, I know... losing moisture and elasticity and all that jazz. Awesome. Well, now that winter is upon us and the heaters are toasting 'round the clock, I'm a hot mess of itchy, crunchy skin.

I've been happy with my Coconut Oil moisturizing regimen. Out of the shower, and slather on some coconut oil right out of the jar. Good stuff. But I would be totally lying to your face if I claimed that coconut oil works as well or lasts as long as the chemically commercial stuff.

I needed something a bit more portable than a jar of coconut oil. I do some weird things at work (like pack salads in mason jars, sport a gloriously sticky jar of honey on my desk for tea, etc), and I keep some weird things in my purse (reusable bamboo utensils, anyone?), but there's no way I'm going to start scooping coconut oil out of my purse/desk drawer.

Pinterest, for the win!

The instructions below are snagged directly from The Coconut Mama, with my own small variations.

First, you need equal parts beeswax and coconut oil.

You can buy little chunks of beeswax online, or at Whole Foods.  I took the suggestion from The Coconut Mama's comment section and grated the beeswax with a box grater for even melting.

Here's a snap of a half-grated chunk of beeswax:

Grating it up. 

Throw the grated beeswax into a small saucepan with an equal amount of coconut oil:

For this first go, I used roughly 4 tablespoons of grated wax and 4 tablespoons of coconut oil. The original instructions say you can use a few drops of essential oils. I wanted my lotion bars to smell vanilla-y, but Holy Buckets! Vanilla Essential Oil is $22 for a tiny bottle. Scrap that. I tried adding a few drops of vanilla extract.

I DO NOT recommend swapping vanilla for vanilla essential oil, sadly. It didn't really incorporate into the oils, and basically just separated out to he bottom of the pan. 

But when it was all nice and melty, it poured elegantly into these little mini muffin pans:

I got a little impatient and decided to scoop one of the little bars out before it had fully set. Also a bad idea, but it did give me a preview of the lotiony awesomeness I had just made. Soft, but not too soft, with a pleasant coconutty-and-vaguely-honey scent. I rubbed it all over my arms and elbows. Soft, chemical-free skin!

Win!

If I had had some of those silicone bendy muffin pans, that would be a better choice for getting the bars out and keep them looking cute. But I'm thinking I might actually smash these little babies into Altoids tins or something similar to make them more purse-safe. 

Even in a tin, though, I would recommend you consider giving them one extra layer of protection from your stuff. I love love love homemade skin care, but it can be unpredictable in terms of melting and separating. If I put mine into a tin, I think I'll make the tin a little oilcloth zipper case. I once left my bag on top of a heating vent on the floor (didn't see it!) and all my lip balm melted into a gooey mess all over my bag! Fun times.