Gratitude Lessons

It's November, so that means I'm happily jumping on the 30 Days of Thanks on Facebook. The very simple premise is that you post one thing each day for which you are thankful. I love it. I LOVE IT. I love to read other people's posts. I love to be able to scroll through my page and others' pages at the end of the month and read a list of blessings and God's provision and common grace.

It is one thing to have a month of thankful Facebook posts, and quite another to cultivate a heart of gratitude. I've been working on that one for a while now.

Take this beautiful white KitchenAid stand mixer, for example.

When I was in my early and mid-twenties, I had some SERIOUS envy issues. Why? Because every summer I found myself shelling out money I did not have to purchase things for my friends' weddings that I wanted myself, and I despaired of ever having matching plates that did not come from a thrift store, or ceramic nesting mixing bowls to sit cheerily on the counter instead of ugly plastic ones. But the Mother Of All Covetousness was the elusive, expensive, Bridal-Registry-Golden-Ticket, the KitchenAid Stand Mixer.

I watched friend after friend tear into the big heavy box at the wedding shower, after being reminded that "this one is too heavy for your lap, why don't you come over to the gift table and open in!" winkwinknudgenudge. And there before our eyes, the glowing bride would unveil a beautiful KitchenAid, often in a dazzling bright color to match the thoughtful "accent colors of her kitchen". You know, a mixer painted to match the colors of all her new dish towels and spatulas.

And every time this happened, my heart clenched up a bit. Not only was I NOT GETTING MARRIED, I was also never going to get a stand mixer. Because they are like $300 and I certainly did not have that kind of money. And neither did my mom, should she ever be inclined to buy me such a gift.

Let's get to the specifics, here. I wanted a fire-engine red Kitchen Aid mixer. I had this dream of a red and white kitchen, primarily because I had scored a cute little red Kitchen Aid mini-food chopper on clearance at Kohls one day, so now naturally I needed the Stand Mixer to be red. Because obviously now I was going to have a red-and-white kitchen filled with Fancy, Matching Kitchen Stuff someday. This red kitchen dream grew and grew. I started trying to figure out a way to sock away some cash for a mixer. I asked my mom to be on the lookout for sales at department stores. I asked for money for my birthday for the Mixer Fund.

And then something incredible happened.

I sat in my mother's house on Christmas morning, geared up for a very modest Christmas gift giving season. We were all scraping that year. I was hoping for an envelope with a little boost to my Fund. But then as my siblings start unwrapping their gifts, I hear my dear mom say "Jill, your gift is too heavy for your lap, why don't you come over here and open it right under the tree!". I could hear the glint of glee in her voice. I trembled. I walked over to the tree and saw the big rectangular box wrapped in plain paper. And I tore into it to discover!!!!!!!......... A white Kitchen Aid standmixer.

Has there ever been a more ungrateful, undeserving, horrible daughter in the history of daughters? I didn't see a KitchenAid. I didn't see the object of years of envy. I saw the wrong color. My eyes gave me away.

"What's wrong? You've wanted that for SO long!"

"I love it mom. I do. I was saving up for the red one, though."

"Well, I'm sorry, honey, but that was the only one I could afford. The Marshall Fields is going out of business, you know, so they had really big sales back in October. I bought this one as an open box for less than half the price it would usually be. I couldn't have afforded it otherwise. It's your Christmas and birthday present. I'm sorry it's not the color you wanted. It can't be returned."

Have you ever hated me more than you hate me right now? I hate me right now. I hate even recounting that story. I hate the ungrateful freak that I was then. I hate that there was even ONE Christmas that I made my mom feel sad about a gift that she had worked and scrimped to give to me (Unfortunately, there is at least one other story like this, but cut my some slack - I was 8 then). I wish I could get EVERY Christmas with my awesome mom back. I would trade every KitchenAid in the world for more Christmases with my mom. And I whined because I didn't get the red one.

And you know what else?

Sitting here about 8 years later, I have a white-on-white kitchen and I love it. I love my white mixer. It doesn't sit on the counter and scream APPLIANCE! It blends in with the white. It sits demurely waiting for me to bake something or whip up some cream. And I think of my mom every time I see it. She didn't even have one of these in her own kitchen. Maybe she even wished that she had had one. But she searched high and low to get one for me one year, and now I hug the mixer sometimes and thank it for its years of dutiful service.

I did kind of make up for my terrible showing that Christmas morning, and call my mom just about every time I used the mixer from that day forward and thank her for it, and apologize for being a brat. She must have heard me say "I'm actually SO glad I have a white one!" at least 50 times. So hopefully that helped. But that whole rotten display of Stuff Over People continues to convict me about my heart and getting "my heart set" on things. I never ever EVER want to do that again.

What about you? Have you ever let a thing mess with your brain and heart? Do you wish you could go back in time and Scream for Joy over a white stand mixer?

Day of Rest

 A few weeks ago, Les and I decided that we were going to try to observe a real Day of Rest. A Sabbath, if you prefer old-school. We're still working out what that means for us, but the basic gist is that we re-arrange our week so that we work on 6 days and save one day (Sunday, for us) for worship, relaxing, being together, serving, spending time with friends (when we find some!), and giving thanks. So the other side of that coin means that we don't go shopping, run errands, pack our day with busy-ness, work on a dissertation (Les), or run frantically through a to-do list (me).

It has only been a couple of weeks, but I'm already kicking myself for not starting this a LONG time ago. Like all grace-full boundaries, a Sabbath is actually really freeing in its restriction. What am I going accomplish this weekend? Whatever I can do in one day. Monday for me, since I am on a Tuesday - Saturday work week. I should really start doing our taxes tonight, shouldn't I? Nope. It'll have to wait until tomorrow. (KCL - I hope tax season has been terrific so far! :) ) We're still on the fence about basic household work like doing dishes and laundry. We've been tackling those questions with a "restfulness" test - Will doing a load of laundry allow me to feel more restful for the rest of the day? If yes, then cool. If it's just a to-do, then leave it until tomorrow. Like I said, we're still working it out.

Today was a beautiful sunny day in Raleigh, so after church, Les and I took AugDog for a long walk around Lake Lynn. It was great. No where to go, nothing pressing to finish when we got home. Just sunshine, flowers, lots of smiling people, and a muddy little lake.



The turtles were enjoying a day of rest too.

I could definitely use a lot more rest in my every day, but one day a week is a good start. I recently heard a speaker at a conference who challenged us to budget our time the same way would would budget our money. Start out tracking your time as you would your spending. And, like a budget, your time budget will reveal where your priorities really lie. So if I say I want to spend more time serving in the community, I have to prioritize it. Or sleep, or exercise, or reconnecting with Chicago friends. I'll find time (or money) for the things that matter most to me. If my time sheet doesn't reflect my real desires and highest priorities, it's time to take a careful look and make some changes. I haven't really done this yet, but I think it's a good idea. For another day. Today, I'm just going to enjoy The Southland in the Springtime.
  

Even the ground cover here blooms.

Biggest Thanks of the Month Goes Too...

Yeah, this didn't start out as a competition, but sometimes there is just such a clear winner that it seems silly to go without making it official.

I am so super ridiculously thankful for Jackie Marchand.

And not just because she spent about 8 hours at our apartment today lending her truly remarkable organization talents to help us pack:

But also because she made sure I didn't trash anything that could be recycled or donated (and offered to make sure that happened), and loves AugDog and helped keep him calm and happy during the mayhem, and also because she is just generally an incredible rock star and I love her very much. She has been so so so helpful with this whole move business, so encouraging, and at the same time her sweet friendship makes leaving so damn hard.

I am thankful for all my dear friends, and for everyone who has helped or offerd to help, and for all of you who are still coming over or stopping by or have offered your spare room/couch during our transition. I'm thankful for Jessie, who will come over tomorrow and help with the last bits of exasperating packing. I'm thankful for Emily who stopped by to give me a farewell hug. I'm thankful for Katie and Ben and Roger who will bid us adieu tomorrow night. And for Torrey who offered to "switch cars for a day" if his SUV would help us in any way. Those of you who know Torrey know what a genuine sacrifice that would be ;)

Blast it, people, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU!

And still, I am thankful. For everything. To everything, there is a season, right?

And if I were naming "Runners Up" for this thankfulness roundup of a month, I would have to give a ribbon to dear old Rogers Park. Oh, Rogers Park, how I love you. I love that you have enabled me to be greener and healthier than I could ever have been in another neighborhood. How do you green me? Let me count the ways:

• In the RP, I can (And DO!) walk to the grocery store, including the option of a small biz local organic crunchygranola store.
• In the RP I can walk to both the Metra and the Red line, thus allowing me to leave my car all by its lonesome almost every day of the week.
• In the RP I can (and DO) walk to my dentist, the vet, a hardware store, my yoga class (when I go), my cell phone place, the bank, numerous food and drink options, a fro-yo place, a 7-11, a RedBox, a CVS pharmacy, and about a half dozen awesome friends.
• The RP farmers market was voted in the Top 10 small farmers markets in the US, and it convenes right outside our front door.
• In the RP I can WALK TO THE BEACH in under 10 minutes. That's right. The lake. I can walk to the lake with AugDog, or by myself for a moment of zen. The proximity to the lake makes me want to get out more and get some free and very green exercise.
• PLUS, the RP is pretty much an Urban Homesteader's dream 'hood. If I had been a little more motivated and/or had chosen to rent an apartment with even a teeny bit more natural light, I could have urban gardened up the wazoo. And there are all kinds of canning, crafting, and sprouting community groups I could have joined. I also happen to know that there are some backyard chickens up here, but I have never seen them with my own eyes.

Oh, it is hard to leave Rogers Park. I am so thankful for this neighborhood, and its diversity and ridiculousness. It has stretched me and forced me to take a long hard look at my bias and prejudice. It has confronted me AND comforted me with sprawling arms of racial, lifestyle, economic, and religious diversity. It has shared its wacky and enthralling public art with me. It has given me the change to become a "regular" somewhere. It has gotten me out and exploring and engaging. It has entertained me with its weirdness and impressed me with its open-mindedness. I am thankful for Rogers Park, in all her gritty, gregarious glory.

And as November wraps up, I also want to say how thankful I am for you blog readers. Thanks for your comments, on and off the official "comments" section. Thanks for sticking with me in this journey, and for your suggestions and encouragement. Only 3 more months to go! And then we'll have to see what's next. And I'm also thankful for that.

A Day to Give Thanks

Holy Moley, do I have a lot to be thankful for. The list keeps getting longer and longer, the friends and the hugging and the food and the good-byes keep getting sweeter and dearer. It is a pretty intense year for Giving Thanks. Leaving so many incredible people and places and pizzas makes giving thanks for all the good gifts around us every day even more of a no-brainer.

Here are some photo highlights of just a few of what I am thanking God for:

Big lattes with mountains of foam

sweet friends who have known me a LONG time

Chocolate in all its glorious forms

No Shave November, my darling husband, and dear Hooney Husband Eric, who rocks a beard

Beautiful, inspiring, dear dear friends

Friends to do life with, laugh with, and give Thanks with

Besties

Cows. I am seriously obsessed. I want a pet cow SO badly. I am thankful that these cows look pretty happy.

Sunset in the farmland

I'm thankful for where I grew up

Mom's Frye boots

Cutest. Dog. Ever.

We had Thanksgiving Lunch at my aunt's today, and of course I ate until my stomach spilled over the top of my stretchy pants. We stopped by the family house to get the stuff that I would like to take with us to Raleigh (grandma's china set, some antique tablecloths, a set of awesome wooden folding chairs), and I stopped to take some pictures of the farmland at sunset. We have such a great family, and I know how rare it is to have a room full of 40 people who are related to each other and have them all love and even like each other. I am thankful. For our health, for adventures and new babies and new jobs and for getting by and smiling, for new gadgets and toddling kiddos and gifted treasures. I am SO thankful. My heart is going to burst.

Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, his love endure forever.

Give Thanks for More Than Plenty

Our "Eat Our Way Out of Chicago" tour is going gangbusters, and pants-busters. I'm thankful and humbled by all the brunch, lunch, dinner, coffee, and dessert dates we've been able to squeeze in over the past week or so, and the calendar reminds me that we have several more to go! Lunch and coffee treats today, dinner tonight, brunch tomorrow, lunch and/or dinner tomorrow... and on and on and OMG I AM GOING TO EXPLODE. With awesome.

Now, I'm all for the frugal and healthy decision to do "non-food" socializing with friends. And I do love to go for a walk or kayak or window shop or watch a movie or volunteer or any of those other fun activities that do not circle the plate. But there is something really great about sharing a meal with your friends. Or even just a coffee. Les and I had dinner last night with my two Rogers Park Besties, Michelle and Jackie. The food itself was pretty OK, but the talking and laughing and fry-stealing and what-is-this-terrible-open-mic-night-nonsense eye rolling were just so great. And I've been counting down the days to tonight's Jess and Andrea Annual Christmas Dinner with my sweet college girl friends. And it is good. I give thanks.

While I was driving to work this morning, I heard that one of the area's largest food pantries is not going to be able to give out any turkey dinner food boxes this Thanksgiving because their donations are so low and the demand is so high. And I thought about Les's suggestion that we volunteer somewhere for Thanksgiving this year. And then I gave more thanks. Maybe I'm just too busy with the move and everything, but I don't have any energy to feel guilty right now. I'm just trying to be mindful of THANKS. Over and over and over and over again. Remembering that God is good all the time, in plenty and in times when, as my grandma would say "you don't have two dimes to rub together". I think about this Scripture verse that we read at my mom's memorial service - Philippians 4:11-13.

¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Isn't this hard to remember, though, sometimes? My mom was an unusually thankful, gracious person; traits which I think were sharpened through years of hardship, sorrow, joy, friendship, and a keen eye for God's provision in all circumstances. She was the ultimate "Glass Half Full" girl. I am thankful for her example, and pray that I can cultivate her mindset and heart of abundance.

Anyway, this is kind of a rambling post. I'll sum it up by saying that Thanks Giving can feel like a discipline when times are tough and a Bonus Gift and privilege when blessings are pouring in. Hopefully the more we practice in the feast, the more natural and free-flowing it will be in the famine.

I am Thankful for Old Friends. And Pancakes.

Two of my longest and dearest friendships in Chicago actually date all the way way back to my college days. I met Jeana and Jenny in Allen Hall freshman year of college (that was 15 years ago! Yikes!) and have been blessed by their friendship through years and years of highs and lows and loves and losses and concerts and movies and parties and races and pool dates and vacations and staycations and late nights and Magnums and.... BRUNCHES.

We have made an art form of eating brunch. We've gone all around the city sampling breakfast burritos, eggs Benedict, croissant sandwiches, omelettes, and of course pancakes. And it is THIS stack of ridiculous sweet divinity that has kept us coming back to Bongo Room low these many years:

Notice that we each have our own savory entree. Oh yes, the pancakes are our dessert. Our brunch dessert.

God Bless dear friends who not only don't judge your gluttony, but happily partake with gleeful smiles.

We had to go back to Bongo Room one more time before Les and I leave for Raleigh, and so today marked the start of our Eat Our Way Out of Chicago mission.

I am thankful for you, J&J and thankful that our friendship will go the distance. And now I'm going to serenade you with the Elephant Love Medley....

Thank God for inside jokes. And traditions. And happy farewells to local faves.

Til Next Time.

Giving Thanks for Change

I'm actually not a big fan of change. I usually endure it rather than embrace it, and sometimes that enduring is pretty ungraceful. But today I'm giving thanks for some Big Changes in my life.

I was offered and accepted a new job with Habitat for Humanity of Wake County in Raleigh, NC. I'm thankful for this unexpected opportunity to dive back into an organization I love and respect. I'm thankful that Les is excited, that we have a couple of friends out there already, and I'm thankful for the chance to start fresh in a new adventure. I'm thankful that the conversation of giving my resignation to my boss went smoothly, and that our interactions since then have been positive. I'm thankful that I am 85% excited and only 15% weepy (today).

Then there are all the nostalgic gratitudes I could start listing: I'm thankful for 10 and a half years in a ridiculously beautiful city. I'm thankful for the friends that have become my family, and for living within a couple of miles of my actual relatives for all these ups and downs of years. I'm thankful for Lake Michigan. And green space, and the most dazzling skyline I've ever seen (seriously, if you haven't driven south on Lake Shore Drive at sunrise, you simply MUST. DO. IT. Who knew that skyscrapers can turn so blazing pink?). And I'm thankful for all the ways that God has shaped and stretched and nurtured and prepared me (us) to take this leap away from the known and comfortable and into a new chapter. I feel like I need training wheels. But actually, I know that what I really needed was a good shove.

So that's the news around these parts! Thankfulness Thankfulness. Deep breaths, prayer, and faith. Good stuff.

November Gray Update and Month of THANKS

Hey Y'all!

It's November, I have a new haircut, big changes are ahead, and I'm feeling super-duper THANKFUL. Good timing, huh? This month, I'm going to focus on Grace and GIVE THANKS for the abundance, beauty, and love all around me. From now until December 1, I'm going to blog as many posts of THANKS as I can manage.

Since I'm a few days behind this month, I'll get things rolling with a triple scoop of gratitude.

I'm thankful for safe travels this week, and for being surprised with reconnections to dear old friends.

I'm thankful for my husband, Les, who has been seriously stunning me with his awesomeness over the past couple of weeks. I am thankful for his support, encouragement, steady faith, and the twinkle of mischief that can laugh me out of the foulest mood. And have I ever told you that he insists on doing ALL the dishes in our apartment? Partly because he prefers his ultra-clean standards to my "Looks totally not-gross!" pronouncements, but still. Geez. Praise God.

My cute dish-doing hubs.

I'm thankful for the not-too-cold fall days that immediately preceded this disgusting cold drizzle, and for a late afternoon date at the Lincoln Park Zoo.

This snap also captures my new haircut (which I do not love) and the more and more obvious stripes of gray threading through my hair.

 But to get a good look at what the center part is up to, have a gander:

Again with the unflattering pictures. I know. But I really wanted a quick look at the hair under that strategic far flung part of mine. Silver. For reals.

So the rest of this month I'll be thanking and thinking more about living from an posture of abundance, gratitude, and grace. I hope you'll think about these things too! It's so much better than dwelling on the steely gray clouds.